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Break Free from Limiting Beliefs: Choose Happiness and Live Life on Your Terms

In the high-stakes world of work and life, ever feel like you're constantly in the passenger seat, driven by endless demands and external pressures. The daily grind can leave you reacting to circumstances rather than steering your own course, making happiness seem like an elusive dream or goal rather than a tangible reality. You know, one-step forward, 10 steps back. But what if you could change that narrative? 

The truth is, happiness isn't just a stroke of luck—it's a deliberate choice and a personal responsibility. By taking the reins of your own happiness, you can create the life you've always desired, unlock your true potential, and thrive like never before. Dive into my latest blog post to discover how you can transform your mindset and take control of your happiness today. Let’s begin to take control of our happiness by working together. 

Understanding Happiness as a Choice

Before considering the process, let’s make sure you understand your role in the process. The first step towards taking responsibility for your happiness is recognizing that it is a choice. While external factors can influence our mood and emotions, they do not determine our happiness. Happiness comes from within, and it is cultivated, nurtured, and managed  through our attitudes, actions, and perspectives. This means that regardless of what life throws our way, we have the tools needed to choose how we respond and ultimately how we feel.

Happiness as a Cognitive Choice

The concept of happiness as a choice is deeply rooted in the principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT posits that our thoughts direct our feelings, create our actions and behaviors,  and lead to our results and outcomes.Thoughts, feelings, actions, and results are interconnected, and by changing our thought patterns, we can influence our emotions and actions. Here’s how this works in the context of happiness.

  • Cognitive Restructuring is one of the core techniques of CBT is cognitive restructuring, which involves identifying and challenging negative thought patterns. By reframing these thoughts into more positive and realistic ones, we can alter our emotional responses. For instance, instead of thinking, "I’ll never succeed at this," you might reframe it to, "This is a challenge, but with effort, I can improve." Rather than saying, “I’ll try,” simply decide “Yes” or “No”. 

  • Mindfulness and Self-Awareness without judgment is another key aspect of CBT. Judging is negative thinking, what purpose is there in questioning your abilities? This awareness is the first step towards making conscious choices about and responding with intent based in different situations.

  • Behavioral Activation using CBT also emphasizes the importance of engaging in activities that promote positive emotions. By deliberately choosing to participate in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, you can boost your overall happiness. This proactive approach counters the tendency to wait for happiness to come to you. You will begin to experience a whole new world filled with joy and anticipation. Life will become the journey it is meant to be. 

External Factors vs. Internal Control

While it’s true that external factors such as job stress, financial concerns, or personal relationships can and do occur and can and do impact our mood, they do not have to dictate our overall sense of happiness. Here’s why.

  1. Locus of Control refers to the degree to which people believe they have control over the outcomes of events in their lives. Those with an internal locus of control believe that they can influence their own destiny, while those with an external locus of control feel at the mercy of external forces. Developing an internal locus of control empowers you to take responsibility for your happiness, recognizing that your actions and attitudes play a significant role.

  2. Resilience and Coping Skills will help build resilience through coping strategies and is essential for maintaining happiness despite external challenges. CBT teaches techniques such as problem-solving, assertiveness training, and stress management, all of which enhance your ability to cope with adversity and maintain a positive outlook.

  3. Emotional Regulation is a key component of taking responsibility for your happiness. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided imagery can help you manage stress and maintain emotional balance, even in difficult circumstances.

Yes, bad things happen to good people. We experience good and bad, that is the nature of living. We acknowledge the bad, just as we acknowledge the good. AND, just like we manage the good, we also manage the impact the bad have on our lives. Example, if we experience a bad breakup, are fired, or experience failure of a project. It is important to acknowledge the hurt, termination, or failure and to allow our minds and bodies processing time. Depression or the decision to go out drinking is ours alone. I cannot tell you that is right or wrong, but can ask you if it serves the desired purpose. 

Attitudes, Actions, and Perspectives

Cultivating happiness involves actively shaping your attitudes, actions, and perspectives. Here is how you can apply this in your daily life.

  1. Attitudes. Adopting a positive attitude involves focusing on your strengths and potential rather than your weaknesses and limitations. Practice gratitude by regularly reflecting on what you appreciate in your life. This shift in focus does enhance your overall sense of well-being.

  2. Actions. Taking deliberate actions that align with your values and goals is crucial. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, whether it’s pursuing a hobby, traveling, exercise, spending time with loved ones, or volunteering. These actions not only boost your happiness but also reinforce a sense of purpose and meaning in your life.

  3. Perspectives. Your perspective on life events can significantly influence your happiness. Cultivating a growth mindset, as popularized by psychologist Carol Dweck, involves viewing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats. This perspective fosters resilience and a proactive approach to life’s ups and downs.

Now! Let's Take Responsibility for Our Happiness!

Recognizing that happiness is a choice is a powerful realization. Using cognitive behavioral therapy works at the beginning, thoughts. You can take control of your happiness and create a fulfilling life. Remember, while external factors can influence your mood, your overall happiness is determined by your thoughts, attitudes, actions, and perspectives. Embrace the power to choose happiness, and watch how it transforms your life.

If you are ready to control your happiness, READ ON! 

The Power of Mindset

Your mindset plays a crucial role in your overall happiness. A positive mindset allows you to see opportunities where others see obstacles, to find joy in the small things, and to remain resilient in the face of challenges. Cultivating a positive mindset can be achieved.

  1. Gratitude Practice. Regularly reflecting on what you are grateful for can shift your focus from what's lacking to what's abundant in your life. Start or end your day by listing three things you are thankful for.

  2. Affirmations. Positive affirmations can rewire your brain to focus on your strengths and potential. Create a list of affirmations that resonate with you and repeat them daily. This may sound over the top, but think about sports, a project, your first date. Building up to the event, you likely put some thought into the event, focusing on victory rather than hardship. 

  3. Growth Mindset. Embrace the belief that you can grow and improve through effort and learning. View failures as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks.

Setting Intentional Goals

Taking responsibility for your happiness also means setting intentional goals that align with your values and passions. When you set goals that are meaningful to you, you give yourself a sense of purpose and direction. Think about the mundane task you dislike but have to do weekly. Now think about that weekly task you are required to do like calculating the percent increase in sales after a great week. Goal setting is the same so chose the goals that are meaningful to you. Here are some tips for effective goal-setting.

  1. Identify Your Values. Understand what truly matters to you. Your values will guide you in setting goals that are meaningful and fulfilling.

  2. SMART Goals. Ensure your goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This framework helps you create clear and actionable goals.

  3. Break It Down. Divide your larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. This makes the process less overwhelming and allows you to celebrate small victories along the way.

Taking Action

Happiness is not just about thinking positively or setting goals; it requires action. Taking consistent, intentional actions towards your goals is essential. Here are some strategies to help you take action:

  1. Daily Habits: Establish daily habits that support your goals and well-being. These could include exercise, meditation, reading, or spending time with loved ones.

  2. Time Management: Prioritize your time and energy on activities that align with your goals. Avoid time-wasting habits and focus on what truly matters.

  3. Accountability: Share your goals with a trusted friend, coach, or mentor. Having someone to hold you accountable can increase your motivation and commitment.

Embracing Self-Compassion

Taking responsibility for your happiness also means being kind to yourself. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. This is especially important when you face setbacks or challenges. Remember that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Embrace self-compassion by:

  1. Forgive Yourself and let go of past mistakes and failures. Learn from them and move forward.

  2. Positive Self-Talk will replace negative self-talk and encourage and supportive language.

  3. Self-Care by prioritizing your well-being and engaging in activities that nurture your body, mind, and spirit.

Building Supportive Relationships

Human connection is a fundamental aspect of happiness. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who uplift and inspire you. Building and maintaining healthy relationships can greatly enhance your happiness and well-being. Here are some tips:

  1. Communicate Effectively. Open and honest communication is key to any healthy relationship. Express your feelings, needs, and boundaries clearly.

  2. Give and Receive Support. Be there for others and allow others to be there for you. Building a network of mutual support can create a strong sense of community.

  3. Spend Quality Time. Make time for the people who matter most to you. Engage in activities that foster connection and joy.


Listen up friends! Taking responsibility for your happiness is one of the most empowering choices you can make. This is the game-changer that can transform your life from the inside out. By adopting a positive mindset, setting intentional goals, and taking consistent, massive action, you’re paving the way to a life of fulfillment and joy.

Embrace self-compassion—treat yourself with the kindness you deserve. Surround yourself with supportive, uplifting relationships that fuel your growth and inspire you to be the best version of yourself.

Remember, happiness isn’t a destination you arrive at; it’s a journey you embark on every single day. It starts with the choices you make, the attitudes you adopt, and the actions you take. Right here, right now, take charge of your happiness. Decide to create the life you deserve. It’s time to step up, take control, and design your destiny. Take responsibility for your thoughts, actions will be deliberate, happiness will thrive, and the life you want will be the result.  

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