What If Your Mind Is Waiting for a Rewrite?

Dr. J
Jul 22
8 min read

Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) and the Psychology of Change

By Dr. Jim Ruth | Life & Career Coach for Men Achieving Professional Growth Through Personal Development

You Are The Programmer

Let’s start with a question:

When was the last time you had a problem that really wasn’t about the problem at all?

Maybe you were frustrated about a missed deadline, irritated with a coworker, or questioning your path. But under the surface, what was running the show?

Your inner language.
Your mental code.
Your unconscious patterns.

You see, our lives aren’t shaped by the events we face—they’re shaped by how we internally represent those events.

That’s why my coaching approach uses NLP—Neuro-Linguistic Programming. What a game changer.

NLP isn’t just about communication. It’s about transformation. It’s the science of how we think, how we interpret the world, and how we can reprogram those interpretations to create rapid, lasting change.

Today, we’re going beyond surface-level problem-solving. We’re diving into the source code of your life.

This blog is your full NLP reset. It’s structured around six breakthrough techniques to:

Define what you want
Identify and remove internal blocks
Access high-performing emotional states
Release emotional baggage from the past
Shift perspective with ease
Replace sabotaging habits with winning rituals

Let’s begin your rewiring.

Define The Desired Outcome

🎯 “Clarity is power. Vagueness is the enemy.” – Tony Robbins

Here’s the biggest mistake most people make when they try to solve a problem: They focus on what they don’t want.

“I don’t want to be stressed anymore.”

“I don’t want to feel stuck.”

“I don’t want to be overlooked.”

But the subconscious mind doesn’t understand “don’t.” It filters for the command. Say, “I don’t want to fail,” and guess what picture your brain pulls up? Failure.

NLP Rule #1:

Always communicate in outcomes, not avoidance.

Keep in mind the subconscious mind focuses on positive intent.

First step is to switch your internal narrative.

“I want to lead with confidence and clarity.”
“I want to feel present and energized at work.”
“I want to become the go-to expert in my department.”

Exercise: Ask yourself these questions, focusing on well-formed outcomes:

What do I want?
How will I know when I’ve got it?
What will this outcome give me?
Is this within my control?
What’s my first step?

Client Story:

Kevin, a senior engineer, came to me saying, “I want to stop overthinking.” We flipped that into: “I want to make decisions quickly and trust my intuition.” That reframe shifted his posture, energy, and approach to leadership. That’s the approach I use with all my clients.

Identify Limiting Patterns

“The map is not the territory.” – Alfred Korzybski

We don’t see the world as it is.

We see it as we’ve been programmed to see it.

Limiting beliefs, internal dialogue, and unconscious filters distort reality until we’re stuck in the same loop—different day, same frustration.

Here are a few classic limiting patterns I see in high-achievers:

“I have to do it all myself.”
“If I speak up, I’ll be seen as arrogant.”
“Success means sacrifice.”
“I’m not a natural leader—I’m more of a support guy.”

Where did these patterns come from? Often early experiences, parental scripts, or moments of rejection that became hardwired into identity.

My Strategy:

Use Meta-Model questioning to challenge those patterns.

Ask:

“Always? Never? Every time?”
“Who says that’s true?”
“What would happen if the opposite were true?”
“What does this belief cost me?”

Real-World Example:

Tom, a marketing exec was a trusted and sought-after for his ability to see the entirety and quickly assess the barriers to progress. He believed he had to be “on” 24/7 and with every campaign or project to be respected. That belief led to burnout, resentment, and disconnection.

We tracked the pattern to his post-MBA fellowship. He fellowed for a Madison Avenue firm.

His first project went extremely well. On his second project, three weeks into the project, he took off on a Thursday night to attend a friend's special event in Providence, Rhode Island. Apparently, on Friday, the client of his second project sent a revision, causing upheaval in the office.

The CMO of his company approached Tom on Monday and questioned his decision to leave town during a project. Since that time, Tom rarely took time off during a project and hesitated to delegate a project.

In working with Tom, we rewrote his narrative. “Respect comes from integrity, not intensity.” His entire approach changed. Simple as it sounds, over the course of a month, we focused on instilling the narrative that he was valued for what he brought to the firm not for physically being at the office all the time.

Anchoring - Access Powerful Emotional States on Command

🔥 “You are not your state—you are the one who creates your state.”

Ever hear a song that instantly puts you in a great mood?

That’s anchoring in NLP.

I work with my clients, guiding them through the process of associating a physical gesture, sound, or image with a powerful emotional state—recalling it on demand.

Give it a try. Use the anchoring method below to access confidence, calm, or focus on demand:

Step 1: Recall a peak state.

Think of a time you felt unstoppable. Present. Clear. Energized.

Step 2: Intensify the state.

Close your eyes. Breathe it in. Feel it fully—where in your body does it live? Not in a hokey way but really. For some it is a tingling in the toes or feeling light on their feet. For others it is a weight lifted off the chest, suddenly opening the lungs.

For me, I recall swimming and the feeling just before I hit the wall followed by that peace of mind in which I am no longer swimming, every part of my body is in motion in water. Strokes are perfect, the water elevates me does not pose resistance. I no longer smell the chlorine, I smell the refreshing energy as if with each stroke, Oxygen leaves the Hydrogen molecules of water to fill my lungs with pure air.

Step 3: Anchor it. While feeling the peak emotion, press your thumb and middle finger together (or create another unique physical gesture). Repeat while reinforcing the emotion.

Step 4: Test it. Later, when you need to shift your state, use the anchor. Your brain will link the gesture to the emotion.

Client Insight: I’ve taught this to men to use before high-stakes meetings, family conversations, even before walking into the gym. Anchoring changes your internal chemistry—fast.

Want to lead with courage? Anchor it.

Want to stay calm during chaos? Anchor it.

Want to shift from fear to focus? Anchor it.

Timeline Therapy - Releasing Emotional Baggage

🧭 “Your future shouldn’t be dictated by a five-year-old version of you.”

Now we are full of positive intent, encouraged to move forward. Now we are ready to embark upon Timeline Therapy. It’s a way to revisit past emotional imprints—not to relive them, but to release them.

You see, unresolved anger, fear, guilt, or sadness gets stored in your unconscious timeline. When a current event triggers that old emotion, you’re not reacting to now—you’re reacting to then.

How I Use Timeline Therapy:

With my clients, halfway through a building session, we examine an area of improvement. You ready?
Identify the emotional charge (e.g., “I get irrationally angry when I’m corrected.”)
Ask: “When was the first time I felt this?” (Your subconscious knows.)
Float above the memory and observe it from a distance. Taste it, feel it in your body. Maybe you make a fist with your hand, or breathing intensifies.
Release the emotion by thanking the younger you for surviving it.
Thank your subconscious for looking out for you —and state these words, “If the emotion is not needed for my benefit, let the charge dissolve.”

Client Story:

Brian froze when presenting to senior leaders. We traced it back to being humiliated in class as a teen. The moment we cleared that memory’s emotional charge, his fear disappeared. He delivered a keynote two weeks later—calm, confident, connected.

Note: This process works best with a trained NLP practitioner such as myself, but even awareness of the pattern can begin the release.

Reframing - Shift the Meaning, Shift the Experience

🌀 “Nothing has meaning but the meaning we give it.” – Tony Robbins

Let’s reframe “failure.”

Instead of: “I blew it.” Try: “I got feedback. Time to adjust.”
Instead of: “This is hard.” Try: “This is building muscle.”

Reframing is the superpower of high performers. They don’t avoid adversity.

They rename it—until it becomes fuel.

Two Types of Reframes:

Content Reframe – Changing the meaning of a situation

→ “My team is pushing back” becomes “I have empowered my team to challenge me.”

Context Reframe – Changing when/where something is useful

→ “I’m too intense” becomes “My intensity is a strength in high-stakes moments.”

Try This Exercise: Pick one frustration from your week and reframe it five different ways. You’ll instantly feel your power shift.

Client Application:

Jonathan, reframed his micromanaging boss from “a control freak” to “a man terrified of looking incompetent.” That shift unlocked empathy—and gave him the strategy to communicate in a way that made the boss relax. A simple shift to understand his boss’ behavior was not about Jonathan but about his boss.

Swish Pattern - Install New Habits at the Unconscious Level

🚀 “Don’t fight the habit. Replace the picture.”

Want to stop procrastinating? Stop trying to force discipline and start using the Swish Pattern.

This NLP tool rewires your automatic responses by shifting the visual representation of the habit in your mind.

Here’s how I use the tool:

Step 1: Visualize the unwanted behavior.

For example, picture yourself scrolling social media instead of working.

Step 2: Create a powerful new image of the desired behavior.

See yourself confidently completing a key task, feeling proud and energized.

Step 3: Place the unwanted image in front of you.

Now “swish” in the desired image—make it larger, brighter, more compelling—and shrink the old one fast.

Step 4: Repeat 5–10 times quickly.

Your brain learns fast. The unwanted habit becomes less appealing. The new one becomes automatic.

Client Win:

I used this with Ron, a manager who habitually avoided feedback sessions. After five rounds of the Swish Pattern, he no longer hesitated to attend feedback sessions, eventually realizing he saw positive results with feedback.

Note: This is another process that works best with a trained NLP practitioner such as myself, However, give it some practice as even the awareness of the pattern can change behaviors. Just don’t get frustrated with results. Contact me at 469-840-2400 requesting a consult.

Your Brain is Your Advocate, Take Advantage

If you’ve read this far, here’s what I know about you:

You’re tired of reacting and ready to create.
You’re not looking for surface-level advice—you want lasting transformation.
You’re willing to do the work… but now you want the right tools.

NLP is more than a technique. It’s a way of life. Take ownership of your language, your thoughts, and your outcomes. In my coaching, I use NLP to quickly change the internal narrative for my clients. Many of my clients worked with me for 6 months, and then may reach out a years later as a promotion presented new challenges.

You don’t need a new job, partner, or city to feel different. You need a new strategy—and it starts inside.

Let’s recap the six shifts that will change your life:

Outcome Orientation: Focus on what you want, not what you fear.
Limiting Pattern Detection: Identify and challenge your old scripts.
Anchoring: Access confidence, calm, or courage in seconds.
Timeline Therapy: Release baggage from the past.
Reframing: Shift your lens, shift your power.
Swish Pattern: Replace negative habits with positive rituals.

Let's Make This Personal PERSONAL

You don’t have to implement all of this alone.

I offer 1-on-1 NLP-based coaching for men who are ready to stop spinning and start rising.

Whether you're stepping into leadership, managing change, or breaking through emotional roadblocks — I’m here to help you create the life and career that actually fit you.

Book a call.

Let’s define your outcome and build the blueprint together.

Email - Jim.prochg@gmail.com

Phone / SMS - 469-840-2400